There are two types of people in this world: those that love change, and those that fear it. But no matter which category you fall into, change itself is one of the most universally scary experiences - especially if this change is not something you want.
In times of change, I return to this quote again and again. I simply interchange “lord” with whatever higher power resonates with me that day. Sometimes it’s Universe or Mother Earth, other days it’s Higher Self or God:
“Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”― Reinhold Niebuhr.
I love this quote, because it reminds me that I AM in control of my life (to some extent). I’m powerful beyond measure. I have free-will, and can intentionally manifest the life I desire. But simultaneously, I’m reminded that certain aspects are truly out of my control. That sometimes, there IS a greater force at play - and the only way forward is by learning to let go of control, and surrender fully to the experience I’m in.
The problem is: how do we know when to control, and when to surrender?
I’m the type of person who loves control. If I can make something happen, I will. And if something feels like it’s slipping out of grasp, I try very hard to reel it back in. Underneath this need for control, is fear. Deep down, I’m incredibly afraid to loose control of my life. Control makes me feel safe, stable, secure. If the ground falls out from underneath me, what will I have to hold onto?
But here’s the thing about this human experience: it’s a wild ride. There are chapters of life where everything feels stable, balanced, certain, and secure. But there will also be periods where things no longer feel certain, and when things starts to change. No matter how hard we try to prevent these situations from happening, I simply don’t think we can. It’s part of being alive.
Although it sure doesn’t feel like it when we’re in it, these moments are often the greatest periods of growth. It’s easy to be happy when things are going our way. But when they start the crack, we’re forced to truly lean on something greater than ourself. Whether it’s meditation, prayer, breath work, journaling, therapy, books, or another practice from our spiritual toolkit. In these moments, we need these tools more than ever.
There is no better time to truly practice this work than when things fall apart.
I’m not entirely sure how to differentiate between knowing when to control, and when to surrender. Every situation is unique, and I think it often takes sitting in the discomfort for a bit before making a clear decision.
Something I deeply love is about to change, and I’m currently on the edge this transition. I’m not sure what to do. The part of me that craves control is going a mile a minute, trying to fix the problem, to find an immediate solution, to create a clear path forward.
But when I become quiet, I can hear another part of me speak. It’s a quiet but powerful voice deep within, gently guiding me to slow down, stop trying to find the answers, and fully surrender in this moment. I don’t want to listen, because I love my life just the way it is - and I want to do everything in my power to keep things the same. But my wiser Self knows that life is a flowing, ever-changing river - and nothing will ever stay the same forever.
The only constant in life, is change.
If this is truly the case, then it’s probably time I start trying to make peace with change. Or else, I’ll be constantly fighting the tides of life, like trying swim upstream. But I don’t have to. Instead, I can take a deep breathe, exhale, close my eyes, and relax. I can learn to float. I can simply let the stream take me where i’m meant to be.
How to you move through times of change? What practices or tools help make the transition easier for you? Please share in the comments below. <3