On not comparing our own lives.
Being content with what we have and choosing not to do it all.
It’s Monday morning, and today I woke up feeling content. Another weekend is gone, and while we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, I feel a sense of peace with it’s passing. We spent both mornings walking our neighbourhood trails, went for coffee at our favourite local cafe, did some errands, tidied the house, weeded the garden, watched a few episodes on Netflix, and made dinner at home both evenings. On paper, it’s nothing remarkable, but in my heart, it’s everything.
It’s taken me a while to reach this place of peace with not doing it all on the weekends. Or really, in life in general. After many years of believing how I spent my time was never enough, I’m openly acknowledging this shift within myself. But even now, there are still moments when I wonder:
Is my life exciting enough?
Am I living enough?
Should I be doing more?
Of course, these thoughts don’t come out of nowhere. They’re triggered by seeing what other people are up to, and then beginning to compare and question. Imagine back to a time before the internet presented us with little peak-holes into everyone else’s life. How would we spend our time? Would we wonder what others are doing? What would we consider normal living?
The internet makes it so easy to see what everyone else is up to. Our natural curiosity as human beings drives us to casually check-in with others, and see how the people we know, admire, love, or care about are spending their time. This innate part of our human nature is both a blessing, and a downfall. It feels exhilarating to see others doing incredible, exciting, inspirational things, but at what point does this comparison become unhealthy?
With this newfound access to sharing our lives online, comes a sort of pressure. Suddenly, everything we do presents an opportunity to capture content. This knowing sits within us, a hidden agenda driving many of the choices we make.
My past self was very much entangled in this dangerous way of thinking. Evidentially, the lines became a little blurred. When making decisions, my mind would ask questions like: “Do I go to the dark, cozy, old-school cafe with really good coffee and cheap prices, or that fancy new place with mediocre drinks that are three times the price, BUT gorgeous decor and perfect lighting?”
It’s kind of a chicken and egg scenario. Did you choose to do something incredible, then feel inspired to post about it online? Or did you do something incredible so that you could post about it online?
One day, a year or two ago, I realized that constantly watching what others were up to wasn’t serving me anymore. This habit had started influencing me to bring my phone places (when I actually wanted nothing more than to leave my phone at home), just to capture that nice photo. To keep up with the crowd.
The truth? Habitually comparing our lives online makes us feel discontented with our own.
The most wild part was others were doing this to me, too. Comparing their lives to my own stories or posts, not knowing the reality behind those photos. Not seeing the potential 30 other identical shots that simply weren’t ‘right’. Or the feeling of presence that was automatically broken whenever a phone was pulled out. Or the people behind the screen, patiently waiting for me to come back to the moment with them.
Life is happier now that I no longer care as much about what others are dong, or feel the need to share my most precious moments with the world. Without any external influences, I’m perfectly contented in my life most days. I feel a deep sense of peace with how I spend my time, because I’m doing things that make me happy - even if they’re not exciting, flashy, or social media worthy. I’ve made peace with my life being a little mundane, because I can now see beauty in the mundanity.
There’s nothing wrong with doing something big or exciting, and sharing that experience with the world. But when consuming these moments from others, it’s important to occasionally take a step back and give myself a little pinch. To remember that I could be doing that thing, too, but instead I’m choosing to be where I am right now. And this initial choice wasn’t influenced by something I saw online, but from a place of pure desire in my heart.
May we pay less attention to others lives, and more attention to our own.
May we focus less on others, and more on ourselves.
May be pour energy not into what we lack, but into what we have.
May be acknowledge the abundance that is already here.
May we find gratitude for the unique beauty in our own lives.
From my heart to yours, thank you for reading Hannah’s Haus. If you feel connected to my work, please let me know by tapping the heart to like the post, commenting with your thoughts below, and sharing this post with someone else who might enjoy it.
Amazing writing, Hannah. I'm so happy I discovered you here. During the pandemic, I also found myself reflecting, "Am I creating to be seen, or am I sharing my creations because I *see* and want to share the light?"
I'm curious to hear what changes you've made since the realization that you don't care (too much) for what others are doing? How do you find the balance between staying inspired through consumption vs staying in your own lane? xo
Exactly what I needed today 💞